“It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.” – Dolly Parton
Other than being the best country singer and songwriter in the biz, Dolly Parton is a total MacGuyver when it comes to incorporating poisonous everyday items into her beauty routine as documented in her memoir, Dream More. Her ability to improvise while stuck in the sticks with a matchbook, some berries and honeysuckle is inspiration/dangerous.
In one episode, MacGuyver uses a machine gun with a cord, a stick and some matches to fire a firearm remotely. Dolly Parton, on the other hand, creates a sexy smoky eyes look with the help of a match. The basic premise of this trick involves lighting the match and dunking it in water. When it dries, you can use the end to spread phosphorus and wood splinters underneath you eye. How does it compare with Laura Mercer’s Caviar Eye Liner and Eye Liner Brush? Not so great. If you don’t mind using a multivalent nonmetal chemical element of the nitrogen group right next to your eyeball it works great!
Red Pokeberries Lipstick
Indigenous Americans used red pokeberries to treat itching, certain types of cancers, rheumatism and syphilis. Dolly Parton used red pokeberry juice as a lipstick when growing up in Tennessee. Up front, I’ll mention that these berries are poisonous to mammals if they are not cooked properly. Generally, the berries are boiled down and used for pies or to poison husbands (just kidding). I want to reiterate that this plant can kill you, so leave the danger to Dolly Parton.
Forget about buying an expensive bottle of honeysuckle perfume if you have the plant in the backyard or your neighbor’s backyard. Making the perfume is pretty easy. Simply, snip off a couple of stems with your fingernail scissors and place them in a bowl full of water. Let the bowl sit overnight and then boil down so you have roughly 1 tsp. left. Add 3 drops of glycerine to the mixture and store in your refrigerator next to your Champaign and condiment collection. The perfume lasts three months.
By following Dolly Parton’s tips, it will cost you almost nothing to look cheap. Use these beauty tricks at your own risk. Some beauty secrets should remain secret.