Thanks for using Bobbi Brown’s Kohl Cake Liner. I absolutely LOVE how it goes on along your upper and lower eyelids to create smoky eyes. It’s also freaking awesome how you sometimes apply a small amount of water to my bristles before using the liner. The look is totes dramatic.
Love, Your Smudge Brush
Thank you for the letter. I promise to be extra careful to avoid pulling your bristles when I wash you with anti-bacterial soap and let you air dry. I will also promise not to let my cat into the bathroom again. That last incident must have been traumatic for you.
Why do you use me for small jobs like defining the outer lid of your eyes and not the crease?
Feeling Misunderstood, Small Blending Brush
Dear Small Blending Brush,
You are perfect for creating an illusion of depth by defining the outer v of my eyes. Though I do love how your big brother, Medium Blending Brush, is able to use his densely packed fibers to blend eye shadow across my lid, you cannot be replaced.
To whom this may concern,
Why do we have to get baths every week?
Hating My Bath Time, Foundation Brush
Dear Foundation Brush,
Your bristles are like a free two bedroom apartment in the middle of San Francisco for bacteria. In fact, the damp conditions of the bathroom make their living environment even more pleasant. It would be one thing if the bacteria remained on your bristles. Unfortunately, bacteria can spread to the foundation and skin. Yuck! Every makeup brush needs to be cleaned at least ONCE a week. I try not to get any water on your ferrule (the part that holds the brush to the fibers) or your handle to prevent damaging you. Sorry it’s a drag, but it’s for our best interests.
What the heck? I haven’t seen you in months. Why haven’t you come around? Do you think you’re too good for me?
Mad and Angry, Spooly Brush
Of course, I don’t think I’m too good to use you for my eyelashes and brows. To tell you the truth, I’ve been seeing another brush. Benefit’s Speed Gel is just really convenient for me to use. This quickset eyebrow gel is a great tint for my brows and holds them in place all day. Sorry things had to work out like this. I promise to think of you fondly sometimes.
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