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Breaking Bad⎯When Your Makeup is Beyond Redemption

Your makeup may be breaking bad, but not like in a psychotic antihero seeking revenge in New Mexico kind of a way. Makeup is a concoction of chemicals that have expiration dates, especially if they have natural ingredients or are water based. In the spirit of the last episode of Breaking Bad, I’ve cooked up a list that will help you know when the show has ended on your makeup.



Lifespan: 2 to 3 months

Ways to kill your makeup: Never wet your wand with saliva. If your peepers turn red and glassy looking like Badger and Skinny Pete’s, it’s time to change your mascara. 

How do you know it has gone bad?: When it clumps or leaves you with a severe eye infection



Lifespan: 6 to 12 months

Ways to kill your makeup: Keep your water-based foundation in a moist environment. Bacteria love moisture almost as much as the cartel like selling meth, so the more humid the environment the better the chances are that your foundation will spoil and become beyond redemption…

How do you know it has gone bad?: Any change of color is a good sign that it’s time to leave it behind like a bad habit.



Lifespan: 2 years for powder and 1 year for liquid

Ways to kill your makeup: Leave the cap off

How do you know it has gone bad?: If your concealer starts to separate like Jesse and Walter, it’s time to throw it out. You’ll know when you see the colors shift.


Face Powder

Lifespan: The experts say two years, but I would throw mine out in a year.

Ways to kill your makeup: Use it when you have a major breakout, so you can transfer bacteria to the powder. Not even Saul could help you if you taint your makeup with bacteria.

How do you know it has gone bad?: When there is a dull grey film on the surface, throw it out.


Eye Shadow

Lifespan: 3 months!!!!

Ways to kill your makeup:  Use dirty or wet fingers to apply the shadow on your eyes.

How do you know it has gone bad? Color changes or weird smells. If your makeup starts smelling like a burning tire, you could have other problems.



Lifespan: 3 months

Ways to kill your makeup:  Let other people use your eyeliner or use it when your eyes are irritated.

How do you know its gone bad?: Look for a white residue or check to see if it has a smell.  Actually, this tip could be applied to a couple of other things but if you don’t want to see you makeup break bad then make sure you always keep it in a cool dry place and away from dangerous situations such as moist bathrooms, infected eyes and meth labs in New Mexico. 

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